Answer:

You’re so late today! I was worried we wouldn’t get to chat! How are you? Were you really busy tonight? Did you do anything exciting? Tell me all about it! 

I had the most amazing night! There’s this band called Tragedy, and they’re the #1 heavy metal tribute to the Bee Gees (in the tri state area) and my best squirrel and I just love them! They had a gig at brooklyn bowl tonight and we made festive sailor hats (their intern wears a sailor outfit, and we were joking that if we wore them, we could steal his job) that said Tragedy in glitter letters. Mostly we did this because one of their lead singers gives us sexual feelings and we wanted to be his friend, but the hats ended up being a huge hit with all the guys in the band so we hung out with them for forever and took photos and then the foxy lead singer asked us if we would be in their next video! We’re going to be video girls! For Tragedy! Obviously this is like a life goal for us since we’re both total groupie sluts.

There were also some really drunk girls on the l train being loud and obnoxious.

And I nearly stepped on a dead bird on the street in Williamsburg while we were flipping out over the Tragedy video girl thing and we were so drunk that it was the most hilarious thing to ever happen.

“Fucking Williamsburg. There’s no street lights and everyone has a beard. And there’s a dead bird”

I fucking love my squirrel. We have the best times. I think the best line of the night was when some women asked us if we were Tragedy groupies and we both said “No, they’re all married, so we’re just fans.”

It totally made up for the fact that the paint for my new bedroom is being super shitty and I have to put like five coats of it on the walls.

Oh, and “fat” is an just adjective and “obese is just a medical classification. And people of all sizes can have health problems. I’m technically obese (my bmi is 30-something) but I’m completely healthy, my ass is just fab.  So my opinion is that people’s bodies are their own business.

I am not familiar with the phrase “drive around rascals” please explain it to me.

Hope your night was as good as mine!
Penny Candy